Dedicated to all those who taught me the difference between the character ethic, the personality ethic and the dilemma that lies within…
According to Stephen Covey, author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” in modern society the personality ethic seems to dominate the character ethic, which was much more prevalent during the time of Abraham Lincoln, however seemed to dissipate over the years as the personality ethic presented a magic “fix” to modern day problems. The personality ethic does work, but only if the character ethic is in place. The character ethic refers to a person’s ethics, morals and values for example honestly, integrity and trustworthiness. The personality ethic refers to techniques for example the “how to” approach as in “how to get a job”. Stephen Covey describes both ethics using the example of an iceberg. The tip of the iceberg which can be seen is the personality ethic, but this is only 10% of the iceberg. What is submerged under water, the rest of the 90% of the iceberg, is the character ethic. Although image, technique and skills can influence your outward success, the weight of real effectiveness lies in good character.
From the yogic perspective, the tip of the iceberg refers to “asana” what is submerged underneath is the philosophy of the practice (yama – relationship to others, niyama – self-care, pranayama – breathing, pratyahara – withdrawal of the senses, dharana – focus, dhyan – meditation and samadhi – ultimate liberation). These cannot be seen, but constitute the integrity of the asana. Without these the asana cannot float and is meaningless. Both compliment each other, and both are required for a complete experience.
Habit 1 : Be Proactive
Reactive people allow outside influences (moods, feelings or circumstances) to control their responses. There is a stimulus and then an immediate response based on emotion or past experiences. The majority of us react in this manner. Proactive people receive the stimulus, understand the freedom they have to choose according to the values they have such as self-awareness, imagination, conscience and independent will and then respond accordingly. A proactive person is able to stand apart from the situation and view it objectively. However, this takes practice. A beautiful example of this principle is stated in T.K.V. Desikachar’s book, “The Heart of Yoga”. “Purusha” is referred to as the true self which never changes, and “Prakriti” is referred to as the mind, body and the whole of nature which always changes. If “Purusha” is submerged in “Prakriti”, just as a man (purusha) is swimming in a river (prakriti), then that man is not able to feel the current in the river. He flows along with the river, allowing the river to take him along its path. However, if that man (purusha) stands on the river bank, outside of the river, then it can see the river flowing. In the same manner, most of us allow life to take us on an emotional roller coaster ride, sometimes high and sometimes low, however if we stand apart from the river and view it objectively we will not be victims of circumstances, rather we will be presented with choices.
Habit 2 : Begin With the End in Mind
Mental creation precedes physical creation. Start with a clear understanding of your destination and write a mission statement. A mission statement refers to a powerful document that expresses your personal sense of purpose and meaning in life. It is a governing constitution by which you evaluate decisions and choose behaviors. Another chapter of the same book (The Heart of Yoga) is titled “Things that Darken the Heart”. In order to have a clear vision, first it is important to clear the mind. The mind is clouded by certain patterns of thinking which have been embedded deep into the psyche. These patterns inhibit the individual from attaining his or her true potential. These patterns are referred to as different things in different cultures. They may be called “Sanskara” by Desikachar or “Conditioning of the Mind” by Krishnamurti or “Domestication of the Planet” by the Toltecs. The cloudiness in the mind can be called “avidya – ignorance” or “mitote – fog”. Yoga is the idea that something changes. That change must bring us to a point where we have never been before. In other words, that which was impossible, becomes possible. The endeavor of yoga is to clear the mind, in order to attain that clear vision, which helps one to understand the true purpose of his or her life.
Habit 3 : Put First Things First
The key is not to prioritize your schedule, but to schedule your priorities. Things which matter the most must never be at the mercy of things which matter the least. However, this requires the quality of “Vivek”. Vivek is the power to distinguish what is right for you and what is not. For example, when you surround yourself by like minded people they will be able to support your goals. However, if you are surrounded by people who do not share your point of views they will not be able to support you, and you will begin to doubt your ability. In addition to that, the correct intention must be in place. Ravan, the ten-headed demon, used his yogic powers to manipulate minds for his own good, however this led to his destruction. These yogic powers, or “Siddhi” should be used for the greater good of humanity, not in order to attain power over the world.
Habit 4 : Think Win-Win
This is the habit of seeking solutions so that everyone can win. This refers to the abundance principle: there is plenty in the universe for everyone. It is not necessary for one person to lose, in order for the other to win. There is no dearth of happiness, it can only increase by sharing it. Everyone is talented and everyone is creative. Everyone already has inside of them what they need to succeed. It is just a matter of time before they realize it, and then discover how unique they are, and how to add this to the beauty of the world. That light within them can be called “purusha” or “nagual”. There is no scarcity of that light.
Habit 5 : Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood
This refers to the quality of listening. A person who listens has the quality of understanding better than a person who is busy talking all day long. Indeed communication is important, but listening is part of that communication. Most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask… You filter everything you hear through your life experiences which is your frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up. Consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating. During the first year of yoga, the most significant change that you experience is the change in your relationship to other people or “Yama”. This is how you treat others. As the power of empathy increases, so does your understanding of other people.
Habit 6 : Synergize
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Synergy takes place when two or more people produce more together than the sum of what they could have produced separately. However, there are many blocks to synergy such as anger, anxiety, jealously, defensiveness, ego and fear. This habit goes back to the principle of abundance. There is plenty in the world for everyone. When we let go of the feeling of competitiveness, and stop doubting ourselves, there is so much power in coming together with other people and working towards a common goal. By valuing and respecting the differences between each other and viewing them as opportunities for learning, we equip ourselves with tools to synthesize superior solutions to problems. All that is required is to clear the mind. To get rid of that fog (mitote), all of the conditioning of the mind, and see each other as one whole.
Habit 7 : Sharpening the Saw
The first part of learning is knowledge. The fact that we understand the theory behind the practice. The second part is to practice, practice and practice some more… An example of this can be a relationship between two people. We often identify ourselves with our thoughts, ideas, ego and opinions. However, a thought is not permanent. It changes from one moment to the next. Your true self is permanent, it is the steady light that resides inside of you, a constant source of love. So, to identify yourself with your thought is a very common mistake. Two people may have differing political opinions, religious or cultural beliefs, however, if they are able to dissociate themselves from their thoughts, then they will be able to discover the love that they have between them. When “Purusha” the true self, is able to dissociate itself from “Prakriti”, matter, then that is true bliss or enlightenment.
“Strength lies in differences, not in similarities. ” – Stephen Covey (1932 – 2012)